The heart of a mother

On August 13, 2009, my life, my heart, my world changed forever. One of my four children, left this world and entered into the arms of our precious Jesus. I did not see it coming, I never got to say goodbye. And so, I became a grieving mother. But the journey has taught me more than I ever wanted to know about grief. The grief I feel for the loss of my son, Jason, is indescribable. But there is yet another layer of grief that overwhelms this mothers soul. It is the grief I feel as I listen to the pain in my daughter-in-law's voice as she tells me about a dream or recounts a painful situation that brought her to tears, The grief that I see in my daughter's eyes and hear in her voice and read in her words, as she tries to deal with the loss of a brother, a friend, a fellow believer. And perhaps the most tender grief of all, is the grief of my granddaughter as her little heart breaks day after day over the loss of her uncle, the illness of her grandfather, and the pain she sees in her mothers eyes as tears roll down both of their faces. There are so many layers to grief, so many triggers to pain. Yet, we do not grief as those who have no hope, for we have the absolute confidence that NOTHING CAN SEPARATE US FROM THE LOVE OF GOD THAT IS FOUND IN CHRIST JESUS. And I say this to all who would hear, I am not separated from that love, He holds me in His arms and comforts me in my sorrow. As a result, it is well, it is well with my soul. And it is with hands stretched towards the night sky and a voice that is quiet but resolute that I sing out into the darkness.....Lord, haste the day, when my faith shall be sight, the clouds be rolled back as a scroll....the trumpet shall resound, the Lord shall descend, praise the Lord, it is well with my soul.