Laughter, tears, joy,and sorrow

Laughter, tears, joy and sorrow...those words describe an "normal day" for me. Today the tears came early in the day....seeing Daniela and Isabel last night made me so full of joy...and reminded me of Jason. I awoke this morning and thought about them and their new life...my new life, our new life, a life without Jason. I wonder if those three words will ever not bring trears to my eyes...life without Jason. Isabel is sheer delight and Daniela is just precious. The joy of having them in our lives is priceless....but how oh how I wish Jason was here to love them, and cherish them too. As I share with other mothers who have recently lost their son's, we all seem to ask the same question....can this be real? Is this really my life now? We know the answer, but it is still to painful to accept. As I look to my Heavenly Father for guidance, I know in my spirit, that all is well. Jason is with Him, and we will be too, in His perfect time. In the mean time, His Grace is sufficent, and His mercies are new every morning....so we will all be OK. We can still laugh at the antics of Gabriel and Isabel, we can find joy in spending time together and sharing our lives and our memories of Jason...we can rejoice that one day, we will all spend eternity together and we will never be seperated again,,,,we can live, love, laugh, cry and rejoice that the creator of the universe knows our names, knows our pain and somehow for some reason, he is mindful of us. So, as I promised Jason on his birthday this year, I will remember the joy of his life, more than the sorrow of his death, I will remember the depths of his faith and share the Good News about our Savior rather than dwell on my doubts and unanswered questions and I will continue to declare and believe that God is good...all the time.